Barba's Amigo M
by oliviatennant
Summary: When Olivia has to bring Noah to a team meeting in Barba's office, the team is surprised to see how well Noah and Barba seem to get along. Set about 6 months after December Solstice- Barba and Noah have had more time to get to know each other. As Noah and Barba grow closer, Olivia and Barba find they have to work through their feelings about each other.
1. Chapter 1

Noah on one hip, a diaper bag slung over one shoulder, Olivia Benson grapples with the door of ADA Barba's office in an attempt to join the meeting that's already started between Barba and her team. The look on her face is a mixture of exasperation and gratitude as Nick comes to her rescue- holding the door open for her.

"I'm so sorry guys" she says, as she sets the diaper bag down and readjusts Noah's position on her hip. "Babysitter had a family emergency, so I had to go get Noah and, of course, he hasn't had a nap so he's refusing to let me put him down".

As she speaks, Barba makes his way around the desk, giving the toddler an amused smirk. He scrunches his nose at him and asks, "That true, amigo? You a little cranky?" Noah looks up and mirrors Barba's expression-"I franky" the two year old agrees, not really knowing what he's agreeing to. Barba smiles- holds his hands out and Noah goes to him- amusing himself with Barba's suspenders. "Let's give Mom a break".

The entire team, save Olivia, is utterly flabbergasted, confused, maybe even- a bit concerned. It's all Rollins can do not to ask what the hell is going on.

Barba tries to ignore everyone's stares as he settles the two year old in his oversized office chair.

_He'd be the first to admit his first few encounters with Noah had been a bit, awkward. It's not that he didn't like kids, he just didn't have much experience or reason to be around them. Barba didn't like things he wasn't good at- and in the dealing with kids area he could use some practice. _

_Over the past year though, with Olivia heading the team, she and Barba had spent more and more time together. At first just for work but more and more because they enjoyed each others company. After all, they had shared some pretty intense personal battles over the past couple years and they shared a passion for putting away the bad guys. Olivia was the only member of the 16__th__ that didn't seem constantly irritated with him, though she did her fair share of being irritated with him. And he was the only person Olivia could talk to about the struggles of leading the team._

_She'd made him see the victims as people not case numbers and he'd helped her find ways to bring cases they could win. _

_Sure, they often found themselves in intense sparing matches over cases as the rest of the team looked on- but always with the intention of reaching the same goal. They both knew the law better than anyone in the room and both shared a quick wit that made them the perfect opponent for each other. But most importantly, they shared a mutual respect and trust for each other that could only come from working through personal demons like William Lewis and Alex Munoz together. _

_So working dinners, simply became dinners and more and more they realized they didn't need the work excuse to meet up for a quick bite or drink. _

_If Barba was honest with himself, a bit of him hoped that at some point their friendship would evolve beyond just friendship. But he wasn't great at being honest with himself, and for now he was just happy to have someone to talk to. Barba didn't exactly have a plethora of friends and after helping send one to prison his stats weren't improving._

_But spending more time with Olivia, eventually meant spending more time with Noah. The more Barba was around- the more Noah took to him- the man with the funny suspenders. _

_And Barba had to admit, after the initial awkwardness of not knowing how to handle the situation had passed, he liked having Noah around. Noah made Olivia happy, which made Barba happy. And after dealing with cases of abused children all day- it was nice to be reminded once in a while that there were kids with happy homes even if not at first._

_It was more than that though. Barba wouldn't dare admit it- but he was quite taken with Noah. The boy was clever- regardless of his early childhood misfortunes he'd caught up in his development pretty quickly once in Olivia's care. He brought out a goofy side in Barba. A side that the ever proper attorney had hidden away long ago in order to further avoid the wrath of his father and the PS109 crowd. And since Noah was just learning English- he could speak to him in Spanish all he wanted and the boy would listen. _

_Having Noah here now made for a nice break in his day._

Barba puts Noah in his chair and spins towards his bookcase where the coffee maker sits. "I bet I've got something you like", Barba opens a cabinet to reveal goldfish crackers that he pulls out. "Goldfish!" Barba says excitedly.

One of the first things Barba and Noah had bonded over was their mutual love of snacks.

The rest of the team still looks on stunned. Olivia, un-fazed, rummages through the diaper bag.

Barba dumps a few goldfish onto his desk then grabs a handful for himself. Noah looks at the goldfish in front of him and whimpers as he looks at Barba and signs "more" in baby sign language.

Barba points at the fish in front of him, "You can have more as soon as you eat those". Noah pouts. Barba is unwavering- he feigns sympathy, "Oh I know, I'm such a monster". He reaches over pretending to steal one of Noah's goldfish- immediately, Noah begins eating them.

Barba looks up and decides to give the team something to do other than stare at him- _is he that much of an asshole that being nice to a baby is unfathomable? _"Alright, so where are we with the boyfriend?"

Fin is the first to get back into gear, "Says he was in his hotel room, alone, all night, not exactly a rock solid alibi."

Nick's the next to respond- while still keeping his eyes trained on the interaction between Noah and Barba. "We're going by after this to see if the hotel has security cams but it's not exactly the most upscale part of town."

Barba pulls out his iPad and shuttles through his apps, "You gotta get me something. If you think he did it, I need evidence, otherwise I have to move forward with the charges against Baker."

Olivia has finally found her son's sippy cup but it's filled with juice- not likely to promote napping. She semi-covertly hands it to Barba to avoid Noah seeing it. Barba quickly unscrews the top, dumps the juice and replaces it with milk from his mini-fridge. He sets it in front of Noah along with his iPad. "Que quieres ver? Peppa?" Noah nods a response, "Pep!".

Barba pulls up "Peppa Pig" on his iPad with surprising familiarity- he grabs a pair of headphones from his bookshelf, plugs in and gently places them over Noah's ears. The moment "Peppa Pig" begins playing, Noah is engrossed.

Barba rounds his desk to take his place beside Olivia, who has now turned her attention to her team. "OK, Fin and Amaro, you two go check out that hotel. Rollins, Carisi, why don't you take another run at the boyfriend."

The four detectives nod and head out the door. Carisi is the last one out- right before leaving he spins on his heels and gives Olivia and Barba his widest grin, "I just gotta say, personally, I think it's great. You two givin' it a go." He spins back and leaves, closing the door behind him.

Olivia and Barba turn and give each other a perplexed look.

Carisi catches up with the other detectives walking in silence down the hall. Finally, Rollins gives the side eye to the other three, "That was weird, right?". Carisi shoves his hands into his pockets and throws his head back, "Oh my God, so weird!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks everyone for the feedback about the story. All your kind thoughts made me decide to keep going. This chapter is really about just getting a feel for Olivia's perspective. **

**The third chapter will have a bit more plot.**

**Back in Barba's office**, Barba looks as if he's making a desperate attempt to read Olivia's thoughts. The confusion about Carisi's comment has quickly turned to embarrassment that both Barba and Olivia are trying to keep concealed.

Olivia turns to find Noah passed out in Barba's chair- still clinging to a few goldfish with one hand. A subtle change of subject.

Barba follows her gaze and smirks, "Wish I could do that right about now."

Olivia chuckles, "Tell me about it. Guess I should get him home."

Barba walks around the desk and gently scoops the boy up. His head falls comfortably on Barba's shoulder, his arms limp at either side. Once Olivia has gathered the contents of the diaper bag, she makes an attempt to take Noah.

Barba holds up a hand, "I got him, Liv. I'll walk you out."

"Barba, I'm parked 4 blocks from here.." She's cut off by a look from Barba which clearly says 'just walk' as he flaps one of his hands in a shooing motion towards the door. She smiles, shakes her head and walks out with the two boys in tow.

_Olivia has to admit- when she first met Rafael Barba- he annoyed the hell out of her. A total ass, in an overpriced suit- though she did have to admit he did look rather smart in those overpriced suits._

_But when he'd pulled that belt stunt in the middle of court, she was impressed. Just a bit. He was obviously clever- and would do anything to win- though she was suspicious that he wanted to win just to win, more than he wanted to win for victims. He was harsh (she may never let him speak to another victim again) but good. And she understood why he was harsh. No trial was a picnic._

_He was passionate about the law and she was passionate about the victims and that made them the perfect team. _

_And eventually, her passion for the victims rubbed off on him. Though he could still be harsh when he needed to be- he truly was fighting for the victims and she found more and more that she actually really liked Barba. She started to think of them as partners._

_It didn't take long for Olivia to see through Barba's prickish exterior to the real Barba- a nerdy boy from the Barrio who'd never fit in- a teen who left the Barrio the moment he was given the chance- and a man who regretted turning his back on the culture he grew up with and had so much pride for. _

_Sure he was cocky- he was damn good. The boy who'd suffered through being different his entire childhood had finally found his place. The teen who'd been beaten up for being "to smart for his own good" had finally found a way to use his quick wit and smart mouth. Olivia almost found it endearing._

_And then Lewis had happened. He'd been overwrought with guilt and she'd been over come with every other feeling on the planet: hatred, anguish, anxiety, hopelessness. They got through it together. _

_She'd had Cassidy at home to comfort her and Dr. Lindstrom to talk about her feelings but Rafael Barba had led her through it all. _

_To be honest, she didn't want Cassidy's comfort and she didn't want Lindstrom's platitudes (even if she'd used them on victims herself). She wanted to be treated normally and she wanted justice. Barba gave her both. _

_He hurt for her, of course. Hell, the day he told her Lewis wanted to plead guilty to raping her, she could have sworn she'd seen tears in his eyes when she refused. But then he'd kicked into DA mode- getting in her face and reminding her exactly how important it was that her testimony was right._

_He had his gentle moments but mostly, he was steadfast in his conviction to get Lewis. He had stood beside her- prepared her for everything- he told her the truth and never once did he look at her with pity. _

_Even after she'd hurt him by lying about Viva Nunez, and she could see she'd hurt him, he stood by her._

_She loved him for that. _

_She'd stood by him and given him the benefit of the doubt in the Munoz case. And through all the changes and cases they'd faced together since- she found herself enjoying the time she spent with Barba. _

_She liked their sparing matches in the bullpin, their late night troubleshooting sessions, she liked the way he'd turn and look at her after they'd won a case- oh so pleased with himself, as if to say 'did you see what I did there?'. _

_She liked that they could call each other out and completely disagree and still go have a drink and laugh after. Liked the moments he opened up to her. And she liked that even on days he was in a bad mood and dismissed everyone else- he'd always listen to what she had to say. _

_She even liked the slight overprotectiveness he sometimes showed when every once in a while she was threatened by a perp. He'd lower his chin and growl out some response. Olivia couldn't help but smirk internally. _

_If she was honest with herself, which she never was in cases like this, that platonic love that she felt for him after the Lewis case had slowly begun to morph into something else. _

_She'd been a bit discouraged the first couple of times he'd met Noah. She really liked Barba- and was subconsciously beginning to think he might be more than just a friend- but the next person she fell for had to love Noah. She wasn't sure that was his thing._

_But as Noah got to know Barba- she could tell Noah adored him. And Barba surprised her- he seemed to adore Noah right back. _

_In the whirlwind that was her life, he had snuck in and become her anchor point. She was so content with their friendship that she let all of her feelings about Barba simply simmer in the background - until Carisi had opened his big mouth about 15 minutes ago. _

_She'd once told Barba she thought she'd still be squabbling with him at 85. Now watching him do his best to buckle Noah in without waking him- she thinks that might be exactly what she wants. Wonders, if maybe, he wants that too._

Barba turns to face her, 'mission accomplished'.

She shakes her thoughts away. _This is Barba for God's sake, you work together. You don't even call him by his first name! Even in your head!_

She smiles- giving away nothing, "Thanks". He nods, giving her a quick smile then steps past her to walk back to his office.

She starts to walk around the car and then spins back, "Oh, Barba- almost forgot. Adoption paperwork gets finalized Friday. I was going to have everyone over to celebrate if you care to join? Just drinks- some appetizers.".

His smile lights up, "Sounds good, let me know."

**Rollins is the first to arrive**\- she brings in a bottle of wine and follows Olivia back to the kitchen where Olivia's arranging various appetizers.

Rollins sets down the wine and then turns to see Noah playing on the floor, "So finally Noah Benson officially, huh?" Liv nods and smiles brightly. "Maybe someday Noah Barba?", Amanda asks cheekily.

Olivia's head snaps up, "What?". _Liv had almost forgotten Carisi's offhand comment a few days ago. Shit- did they all think-?_

"Just kiddin', Sarge." _Wow, touchy much?_

"Amanda, Barba and I aren't—"

Rollins holds up her hands, "It was a joke, seriously, Liv. None of us think anything's going on with you and Barba."

There's a knock at the door. Rollins goes over and lets in Nick. She has time for a quick hello before Noah has walked over to show them both a block. Both act as if it's the greatest thing they've ever seen and Amanda goes to join Noah on the floor with the blocks.

Nick walks into the kitchen to put the beer he's brought into the fridge. Olivia smiles over at him, "Hey." Nick gives her a nod, grabs one of the beers he brought and leans against the counter beside her, conspiratorially.

"So you and Barba?", he asks with the slight undertone of a disappointed brother. Olivia sighs, _oh my God they do all think it. Maybe inviting Barba had been a bad idea. But she wanted him there._

"Nick-"

"You don't have to explain, it's just, not what I expected."

Olivia looks him straight in the eye, "There's nothing going on between Barba and I. Barba and I have a lot of late dinners to discuss cases- sometimes I bring Noah. It's proximity, Nick."

"Proximity would explain Noah liking Barba. Not Barba knowing baby sign language."

Olivia gives him her best Sgt. Benson look, "Open the wine, Nick."

Fin and Carisi aren't far behind. Barba's the last to arrive.

_He's a bit nervous but Olivia's the only one to really notice. He'd realized on the way over that- aside from Olivia- he didn't really spend any time outside the office with the others. Barba was part of the team but still a bit of an outsider. He didn't really have much in common with them. He and Amaro both had abusive, Cuban fathers but that wasn't exactly dinner conversation. _

_Barba was great at social gatherings that were about work and networking- but his personality didn't necessarily lend itself to social gatherings that were just social. _

_Carisi's comment earlier in the week didn't help. Were they all thinking he and Liv were together? Worse than that, Barba kept finding his mind wandering to what it would be like if they were together. Maybe he shouldn't have come. _

When he walks in, Noah immediately toddles over to him. Barba scoops Noah up and after saying a few polite hellos, Barba b-lines for the cabinet over the fridge where Liv keeps his scotch. It's not lost on the others that he has his own bottle of scotch at her place. Or that he seems to already have a system in place for holding a baby and pouring scotch at the same time.

Barba finds that it's not as difficult to hang out as he thought. They mostly all talk about work anyway. He still has to deal with Carisi's constant backseat prosecuting but at least here he can have a drink while Carisi rambles on.

An hour in, everyone's sitting in the living room- drinking, noshing and chatting about some of the lighter points in past cases. Barba sits on the floor at the foot of Olivia's chair playing blocks with Noah and Amaro. Which mostly consists of Barba and Amaro making towers and Noah knocking them down.

After a particularly massive demolition, Amaro grabs Noah and tickles him,"Aye, mi torre!"

Noah laughs and reaches out for Barba to save him, "Raf! Raaaaf!" Barba laughs, letting him 'suffer' for a minute before he reaches over and pulls him to safety in his lap.

Noah's getting sleepy. He curls up in Barba's lap for a moment and leans against his chest until Carisi comes in from the kitchen holding a plate of cupcakes that he'd brought along.

Seeing the chocolate frosted cupcakes, Noah hops out of Barba's lap and begins signing furiously at Olivia. Barba throws his hands up in victory, "Haha!".

Olivia can't help but smirk at Barba. Fin asks the question the rest of the group is thinking, "What's he saying?"

"Chocolate", Barba's way too excited.

Liv clarifies, "Barba's been trying to teach him that one for weeks now. Carisi, I think you might be Noah's favorite person right now."

An awkwardness falls over the room at the revelation of just how much time Barba spends with Noah. Olivia pushes on- trying to ignore it. She addresses her son, "You can have the cupcake but you have to sit down." Noah whines back at her.

Barba's already reached behind him and pulled out a small booster seat with its own tray. He pulls the tray off and sets it beside Noah. Olivia tries to get Noah to take a seat but he's tired and having none of it.

Noah turns and hits Olivia. In an instant, Barba catches Noah's tiny hand in his, stilling it. He makes eye contact with Noah and firmly tells him, "Hey, no hitting."

"Barba, I got it!" , Liv snaps. She immediately regrets it. Barba and Noah both still- everyone watching their interaction. Now it really is awkward.

It did achieve one thing though. Noah's not fighting her anymore- so she grabs him and settles him into the booster.

Carisi unwraps a cupcake and hands it to Noah in an attempt to break up the awkwardness. "There you go, little man." Noah digs right in. Carisi holds the platter out, "Anybody else?"

The awkwardness eventually dissipates and everyone goes back to talking.

Towards the end of the night, Barba stands at the sink doing dishes while Olivia, Fin and Rollins clear various dishes from the living room into the kitchen. Carisi and Amaro sit in the living room entertaining Noah.

People start to file out. As they do Noah tells each one he 'Yuvs' them and supplies them with a rather wet kiss on the cheek. Apparently, this is his new thing.

Olivia closes the door behind Fin and turns to find Barba collecting his coat. He's the last one out, having just finished the dishes.

"Alright, adios, amigo", he tells Noah- stooping down to his eye level where his head rests on Olivia's shoulder.

"Dios" , the toddler responds, "Yuv you, Raf!"

Barba smiles. He's not sure it's not a word his necessarily comfortable with but he wouldn't describe the way he feels about the boy in any other way. "I love you, too, Ni**ñ**o." He leans in for one of Noah's wet kisses then gives Olivia a small smile, "Thanks, Liv".

Olivia catches him with the door halfway open. "Rafi, wait!" Barba tenses. "Sorry, you don't want me to call you-"

Barba turns back to her, "No, it's fine. I like it. Just- first time you've ever said it."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you. Not sure why I did that. I just- with what Carisi said the other day. I don't want them getting the wrong impression."

"No, I know. It's alright. I shouldn't have-", he trails off and looks at Noah so he doesn't have to look at her.

_Is that sadness in his voice? She can't tell. She almost wants it to be. How is she supposed to discern what he wants if she doesn't even know what she wants. _

_That's not true though really. She knows what she wants. She just doesn't know if she should want it._

"I do value your input, Rafi." She tests the name again. It's a bit more awkward this time. "I like that you're part of Noah's life. You're good for him."

Barba looks at Noah, snuggled up on his mom's chest. His eyelids are starting to drift closed. Barba puts a hand on Noah's back and gives him a gentle pat. "He's not been too bad for me either", he admits. He's caught off guard by his own candor.

He finally makes eye contact with Olivia. The energy passing between them is overwhelming. Barba's not sure how he hasn't caught fire yet.

_He wants to kiss her but if he starts, he's not sure he'll be able to stop._

"Alright, I'll let you put him to bed" he says abruptly, and a little too loudly in an attempt to break the spell. "Night, Liv. Thanks."

She smiles back, "Night, Barba".

Barba quickly makes his way out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part III**

**Olivia pushes Noah in the swing** at the park when Barba approaches- briefcase in one hand, a file in the other. He's dressed in one of his three-piece suits and when he gets to the edge of the sandbox that the swings are in- he waits. No way these Gucci shoes are stepping into that soggy sand.

Olivia watches him for a moment- amused, as he considers how to make his way over to her. Finally, he looks up at her and holds out the file, "Got you the file you asked for".

Olivia grabs Noah out of the swing and walks over to him. She takes the file from him and deposits it in the back of Noah's stroller, which sits beside one of the benches.

"Taking a day off in the middle of the week? It's like I don't know you at all anymore, Sargeant.", Barba smirks.

"Well it's, what? 10 O'Clock? and I've already gotten 3 calls from Fin, one from Amaro and now you're here so I don't know that I'm very good at it."

Barba looks a little guilty for a moment but doesn't own up to it, "Well as long as you're in court tomorrow, I don't care where you work from today."

Olivia fights back an eye roll. Barba can't help but smile at her expression. Suddenly, Noah's ears perk up when he hears the bicycle bell from an ice cream cart. He turns to Barba, eyes wide. "'Scream?", he whispers, almost reverently.

Barba looks at the wide-eyed toddler and laughs, "That's a Pavlovian response if ever I've seen one."

"You started this. I told you not to buy him ice cream in the park."

The bell dings again. "'Scream!" Noah- now sure of what he's heard- is leaning desperately in Barba's direction. Raf always buys him ice cream.

Barba looks to Olivia, "What'd you say, Mom? Can he have some scream?"

Noah turns to look at his mother and Barba feigns a most ridiculous pleading face he can manage. Two sets of wide, green eyes staring back at her, Olivia hands Noah over, "Okay, but when he's not going down for a nap in two hours, I'm dropping him off at your office for the rest of the day."

Barba holds his hands out to Noah, who goes to him. Barba holds Noah out away from him while Olivia brushes the sand off his shoes so he won't get it on Barba's suit. "That Noah, is what we call a passive aggressive yes. But it's a yes all the same!".

Olivia manages to return a look that reflects both amusement and the intent to commit homicide. Barba settles Noah and walks with him towards the ice cream cart.

_As they walk away, Olivia thinks about how close Barba and Noah have become over the past several months. The comments from her team about her and Barba dating have only pointed out what she already subconsciously knew- she wants more from her relationship with Barba. But what if they took it beyond friendship and it didn't work out? She'd hate for Noah to have to lose Barba because she selfishly wanted more. _

_Again, she pushes the thought of anything more away. She justifies it by lying to herself. She doubted Barba wanted the same things anyway. He'd shown no indication that he did and Rafael Barba was the type of man to go after what he wanted. He'd have made his move by now if he wanted to be more than friends. As much as he seemed to love Noah, she couldn't imagine that he wanted to be a full time family man._

**The next afternoon in court- **Barba is finishing up questioning Benson when Rollins steps into the back of the court- a worried look on her face. Neither Barba or Benson notice.

"Thank you, Sargeant." Barba takes his seat back at the prosecution table. Rollins approaches him and whispers into his ear. His eyes go wide and snap to Olivia.

Defense council has only gotten through the first half of their first question when Barba jumps up, "Your Honor, may we approach?" The defense attorney spins around and gives Barba a look of disbelief. The judge looks down her nose at Barba but before she can scold him, he doubles down. "It's important, Your Honor."

Both attorneys approach the bench. Barba tries to talk as quietly as possible with Olivia sitting right there. "Your Honor, I'd like to request a recess until tomorrow morning. Sargeant Benson's son is in route to the hospital, I'd like to give her the opportunity to go be with him."

As much as Olivia was trying not to listen, she's heard and looks to Barba, panicked. He sees her out of the corner of his eye and lifts his fingers off the wood in a nearly imperceptible gesture, 'just hold on, I'll get you out of here'.

The judge sighs warily then looks to the defense. The defense attorney nods his approval. "Alright Mr. Barba." Then to the court, "The court will take a recess until tomorrow morning, at which time defense can continue cross examination of this witness."Barba is already grabbing his coat and briefcase. Olivia is out of the witness box and walking right behind him in seconds.

As they exit the courtroom, Barba kicks into problem solving mode, "My car's downstairs. Meet me out front, I'll pull around." Olivia shows no sign of protest. She simply nods and heads for the elevator.

**Outside the courthouse**, Barba pulls the car up and Olivia hops in. She's on the phone with the babysitter who's filling her in. She can hear Noah screaming in the background. Olivia tries to reassure the babysitter on the other end of the line but her distress is obvious inside the car as they hit one stoplight after another.

Olivia hangs up and stares forward, trying to keep it together. She can't keep the frustration out of her voice, "A dog bit him, in the park! Got his entire lower arm. It may be broken!" She closes her eyes and tries to calm down, "I just want 6 months without a hospital visit."

Barba tries hard to concentrate on driving as opposed to his own anxiety. He steals a quick look at Olivia before reaching across and sliding his free hand into hers. He gives her hand a quick squeeze, bringing her eyes back to him. "He'll be OK, Liv."

She gives him, a grateful smile that doesn't reach her eyes but she holds onto his hand. She'll admit, his concise reassurance calms her. Or maybe it's her hand in his.

_Olivia realizes as they pull up to the hospital that it's neither. It's merely the fact that for the first time- she doesn't have to walk into this hospital alone. Barba's right there with her, just as he has been through so much. The comfort Olivia finds in that is overwhelming and slightly terrifying as she realizes how much she's come to rely on him. Rafael Barba has become the person who makes her most terrible days just a little easier- because she doesn't have to always face them alone. He's become her best friend. _

_It occurs to her that she should be content with their friendship- that maybe she can be happy with the way things are. _

**All of Barba's bravado** goes out the door the moment they get into the ER. After finding out from a nurse where Noah is- he and Liv rush down the hallway toward triage.

Now close enough to hear Noah's bloodcurdling screams- Barba suddenly feels as if he might be sick. It's the feeling he got the day his grandmother died. The feeling he got the day he found out Lewis had Olivia. And the feeling he got the day he had to stand by in court and watch Lewis torture her all over again. It's the heart dropping feeling of someone you care about hurting. He does his best to collect himself before stepping around the hospital curtain with Olivia.

Noah sits on the triage bed beside the babysitter who looks like Barba feels. Gauze has been placed gently over the bite on his arm and the blood is starting to seep through. Tears are streaming down Noah's face and he's screaming the most agonizing scream Barba thinks he's ever heard. The moment they step around the curtain, Noah is reaching out for Olivia. "Mama mama!", he can barely breathe, much less talk, he's crying so hard.

Olivia goes to him and snuggles him as close as she can without causing his injured arm further pain. None of the anxiety that Barba knows she's feeling comes out in her voice as she speaks calmly to him- doing her best to soothe him. She's been doing this mom thing for a while now- and unfortunately, this is far from her first trip to the ER with Noah. Barba stands close but gives Olivia space to do her thing.

The babysitter is visibly upset and tries to apologize as she explains what happened. Olivia reassures her that everything's alright. The babysitter informs them that they took X-rays and the doctor should be in with results and to stitch him up soon before she leaves the three of them alone in the small curtained area.

Noah's still crying softly but no longer screaming- so Olivia decides to lift the gauze to assess the damage. As soon as she does, Barba feels the blood drain from his face. Noah's tiny forearm is swollen to twice it's size and covered in blood. The bite covers nearly from elbow to wrist and looks like it cut quite deep.

Barba puts a hand on the boy's back, as much to ground himself as to give Noah comfort. Noah's crying starts to ramp back up just as the doctor steps in.

She's young but stern looking and when she talks she's rather curt and to the point, she spends more time looking at the chart than the three of them. "Noah's parents?" Olivia nods, anxious to find out what's going on and get Noah out of pain. "X-rays came back. He has a small hairline fracture on his radius. Um, his forearm." she explains, as if they're morons, without even looking up to see if they understand. "It's not displaced so we can go ahead and suture the cuts on his arm and then he'll need to be fitted for a cast."

"How long will he need to be in the cast?" Olivia's trying hard to not let the doctor's tone get to her.

"We're looking at 4-6 weeks." The doctor finally puts the chart down and begins gathering supplies for the sutures. Olivia scoots over a bit so the doctor can get to the injured arm but Barba takes an imposing stance behind Noah. He stares the doctor down as she sits in front of Noah and readies a lidocaine needle. "Alright little prick to numb the area."

Noah, unsure of what's going on, starts to cry. "Needle hasn't even touched you yet." The doctor looks up to Barba. "You'll need to hold him still."

Barba gives Olivia a horrified look, Olivia takes a brief moment to stop shooting daggers at the doctor and nod her approval at Barba. They both know Noah risks further injury if he squirms while getting the stitches. So Barba leans down and holds him with both arms- trying to be as comforting but firm as possible. As the doctor administers the lidocaine, Noah's cries turn back into bloodcurdling screams.

The doctor sighs, exasperated. "Quite the screamer." That's the final straw, Olivia opens her mouth to let out her rage but before she can Barba's hand darts out between the doctor and Noah.

Suddenly, the reserved councilor is an all out Cuban storm.

"Hold on! He's TWO! He doesn't know what's going on! He's terrified and you're scaring him even more! Did you miss bedside manner day in Med-school?!"

If it weren't for her son in pain beside her, Olivia would have found it funny. The man that half of Manhattan's judicial system called 'El Tiburon' berating another human being about their bedside manner.

The doctor is completely taken aback. "Sir, unfortunately, your son is going to have-"

"I'm not his father! I'm his-" He pauses awkwardly.

_Shit. What was he? For the first time in his life, words failed Rafael Barba. _

"-attorney. And we want another doctor!"

A confused silence overtakes the room. "Alright." The doctor agrees out of shear confusion before walking back out.

Olivia settles back onto the bed and pulls Noah into her lap to calm him back down. Once his cries turn to soft whimpers, Olivia looks up at Barba who's still standing over them. "I'm his- attorney?", she asks.

Barba looks at her. He's completely drained. "Got us a new doctor, didn't it?"

Olivia gives him an amused, warm smile. He can't help but chuckle at his own outburst. He sighs in an attempt to let go of the tension he's been holding. Barba squats down to get on Noah's eye level and places a hand on the boy's head. Noah holds his arm and sniffles. The lidocaine has stopped the pain and his mom holding him has eased his fear. He looks at Barba with tired, sad eyes.

"Estas bien, amigo?"

"Perro bite me, Raf" Noah points to his arm.

"I know, niño. Lo siento. We're gonna get it fixed up though, ok?" Barba leans in and plants a quick kiss on Noah's forehead. He looks up at Olivia, "I'm going to check on that doctor."

_Watching Barba walk out, Olivia realizes he's in it for the long haul. She definitely wants more from him than friendship. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Part IV**

_Walking to the nurses station, Barba realized- he was in trouble. He'd actually been a little upset at having to admit he wasn't Noah's father. Where had that come from?_

_He suddenly wanted this more than anything. He wanted a family, not any family- this family. He wanted Liv and Noah. He wanted to be there for them during ER visits, he wanted ice cream in the park, and he wanted to protect them from everything. He wanted everything she was willing to give him. Everything she'd let him be a part of._

_He and Liv's ever growing friendship had become the best part of every day. He'd come to look forward to seeing Noah during the week. He'd even admit (if only to himself) to loving them and wanting something more from Liv. But right here- walking through the ER- he was overwhelmed by how much he needed this. Liv and Noah had become the most important things in his life._

_It scared the hell out of him._

_He'd considered having a family when he was young. Growing up in the barrio, that's what people did. And after late night make out sessions with Yelina (which nearly always led to more), he'd have to admit his 19 year old self had dreamt up some plans for their future. He had been in love- and wanted to give her everything. He'd dreamt of brownstones and kids who looked just like Yelina. He'd dreamt of his career as a top attorney which would mean he could give his kids everything he didn't have._

_And then he'd left the barrio for Harvard. When he'd returned she'd chosen Alex. His heart had been broken- but he could see she was happy. _

_He turned his attention elsewhere- his career. His quick wit, confidence and willingness to go all out had him rising through the ranks quickly. Sure, he dated. But he tended to seek out women to complete the New York power couple he intended to be part of. Of all the women he'd dated since Yelina- he'd talked about having a family with exactly none of them. The idea of having a family had long since been buried. And as he got older the New York power couple idea went with it. He needed someone who was his intellectual equal and Park Ave. debutants seldom were._

_He'd focused on his career alone. The one thing in his life he really excelled in was putting away the bad guys. And he liked being good at it. It made him happy. He decided he didn't need anything else. _

_And then he'd transferred to Manhattan and met Detective Olivia Benson. He'd been blindsided. To say she was his equal would be an understatement. _

_His 30 year old self would be disgusted at even the idea of him falling for some overly sympathetic SVU detective. But she'd reminded him that he wasn't just some pretentious prosecutor peacocking for the jury. She reminded him why 19 year old Barba wanted to do this in the first place- he'd wanted to do good. _

_The moment she'd walked into the courtroom and been introduced for the first time he'd been attracted to her. If she were anyone else, he'd have acted on that attraction long ago. But even then he'd sensed that she was more important than that. And now- the stakes were real. She was his best friend. If he made a move and she wasn't into it he'd lose her. He'd lose Noah. _

_He had to stop thinking like this. If she wanted more, she'd make a move. Olivia Benson wasn't exactly the shy type. He'd let her make the first move- for now he'd just stand by her. Be as close as she'd let him be and enjoy what they had._

Barba approached the nurses' station. "Excuse me, Noah Benson, is a doctor coming in to finish his stitches?"

An older, male nurse looks over at Barba, amused. "Are you the boy's- attorney?"

Barba gives the nurse the same repulsed smile he gives defense attorneys who've brought especially annoying motions, "Yes".

**Two and a half hours later**\- after stitches, discharge papers and a quick dinner- Barba sits on Olivia's couch holding a sleepy Noah on his couch while Olivia grabs the baby Motrin from the kitchen. Barba's stripped out of his coat, vest and tie- leaving him in only his shirtsleeves and suspenders which Noah is now rubbing his tiny fingers along to soothe himself.

As soon as Noah sees what she has in her hand he starts shaking his head. She squeezes some of the Motrin into a medicine dropper and holds it out but he just shakes his head more furiously. So Olivia holds it up to her own mouth and pretends to take it, "Hmmm so good. Come on, sweetheart, it'll make your arm feel better."

Noah looks at her skeptically then cranes his head around to look at Barba. He points and Barba's mouth, "Raf". Olivia holds out the dropper to Barba to pretend to take it.

When he does- it briefly touches his lips and he gets the taste in his mouth. Barba scrunches his face up, "Uh, he's right. That's pretty repulsive."

Olivia gives him an incredulous look, "Not really the time for your brutal honesty, Counselor."

Olivia holds the dropper back out to Noah who clamps his lips shut. At least he's not shaking his head now. She does her best to get the dropper into Noah's mouth and delivers the medicine. Noah immediately spits out at least half of it onto the front of himself and Barba's hand. "Dios mio, Noah. You already had it in your mouth- why not just swallow?" Noah giggles. Barba looks to Olivia for backup.

She chuckles at the expression on his face before getting up to go find a washcloth. "Why do you constantly try to use logic on the baby?"

"Well at some point it'll start working."

"Yeah, like after we've sent him to college", Liv calls from the kitchen.

Barba snuggles Noah into him. Noah's back to playing with his suspenders, eyes drifting closed every now and again. Liv comes around and wipes off Barba's hand and Noah. By the time she drops the cloth back in the kitchen and returns to the couch, Noah is sleeping against Barba's chest. Barba's face rests on Noah's head and he's lost in thought. Olivia sits down beside him and starts removing Noah's shoes.

Barba and Olivia lock eyes for a moment before he stands and carries Noah back to his bed. Olivia leans in and gives Noah and gentle kiss before Barba lays him inside as gently as possible- careful to position his injured arm just right. He looks down at him- the look is clear- he never wants anything to hurt Noah again. Olivia knows because that's exactly how she feels every time she comes back from a hospital visit with him.

_How was this the same man she met in the courtroom 3 years ago? During that entire first case she could barely stand to be in the room with the cocky asshole- now she found herself wishing he'd stay._

She puts a comforting hand on Barba's back and gives him a knowing smile when he looks at her. He looks exhausted. "I should head home" He turns abruptly and walks out to the living room to collect his things.

_He needs to get out of here before he does something he regrets._ _Every time she touches him lately, he's felt as if he'd catch fire. _

Olivia watches- a bit sad- as he slings his vest and jacket over one arm and grabs his tie. She'd nearly asked him to stay- but he very obviously wants to go home. She's right behind him as he hurries towards the door. At the door, she places her hand on his arm- stilling him. She glances down at his lips for a split second before locking eyes with him. "I—Thank you, Rafi."

And that's it- it's all he can take, her hand on his arm, his first name, their eyes locked together. He launches himself at her like an overzealous teenager.

Suddenly his lips are on hers. It takes a moment for her brain to catch up but once it does she's kissing him back. _She's kissing him back! _

He drops the clothes he's holding and steps over them as he backs her up against the wall- one hand on her hip the other tangling in her hair. It's all passion and fire and everything they've wanted to say to each other for the past 3 years. He's kissing her so deeply that she's not sure where she ends and he begins but _damn is he good at this!_ _That quick tongue of his is just as skilled here as it is in the courtroom._

She grabs his belt loops and pulls him closer- his obvious excitement now pressed against her thigh. He shutters into her mouth- breaking contact for a split second before she pulls his lips back down to hers. Pressing her harder against the wall, his tongue slips expertly across her bottom lip before regaining entrance to tangle with hers.

As passionate as the kiss is- neither battles for dominance. They know instinctively when to give and when to take. They've always been able to read each other better than anyone and this is no different. He nips at her bottom lip drawing a moan from her. She pulls him closer in a furious attempt to deepen the kiss. Both are completely out of control- lost in each other.

From the back of the apartment, a cry pierces the near silence surrounding them. Soon Noah is sobbing in pain.

Olivia and Barba break apart- each trying desperately to catch their breath and reign themselves in. Barba braces himself on the wall beside Olivia's head. She drops her head back and closes her eyes in frustration as much as to get herself under control. She looks to him- apologetic. "Hold that thought" she breathes out before escaping under his arm towards the back.

Barba stands for a moment- still bracing against the wall.

_What the hell was he doing? Not three hours ago he'd promised himself to let her make the first move. Was he really that unable to control himself? That was the most embarrassing display he'd ever put on. He'd wanted her to come to him- to know that this was what she wanted. He couldn't stand the idea of her being some one-night stand after an upsetting day- followed by months of awkward work conversations. If he messed this up- he'd lose them both. _

_He could hear her talking softly to Noah in the back. Part of him wanted to simply walk back there and join them. To stay the night and wake up in the morning as a family. But what if when she woke up she realized she'd only wanted him because he was there- and it had been a bad day? What if all she really wanted was tonight? It would kill him. _

_For a man who was so confident in the courtroom- he was at a loss when it came to romantic relationships. Olivia threw him off-balance. She'd stripped away his tightly held control._

_He'd been right the first time- he had to get out of here. _

He quickly picked up his things and made his way out.

Olivia is upset when she returns to find the living room empty but not necessarily surprised.

_Noah's crying must've been a reminder that taking her on meant taking on a toddler too. As much as he obviously loves Noah, she couldn't blame Barba for not wanting to take on the role of fulltime dad. All she can hope is that their impromptu make-out session doesn't cost them the friendship that she's come to depend on. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey Everyone! Thanks for all the awesome critiques and responses to this story so far. Only a few chapters left. Hope y'all are continuing to enjoy it!**

**Part V**

**Olivia and Barba hadn't** seen each other outside court for a week by the time they find themselves back in his office with Fin, Amaro and Rollins. He'd been in court all week with the case- Liv and the team had been building the next one. She'd sent him a message asking if he wanted to get dinner after work one night. He hadn't responded.

The tension in the room is palpable.

After he'd walked out on her- she didn't expect that he wanted to start a romantic relationship but she'd hoped to preserve their friendship. He's so embarrassed by his previous lack of self-control that he can barely look at her. None of it is lost on her team of detectives.

For the first time ever, Barba directs everything to Fin and Rollins. Liv paces back and forth behind the other detectives while they brief Barba, who stands leaned against the front of his desk. It's starting to make Fin uncomfortable.

Fin's doing his best to make their case. "Look, Counselor, we gotta pick this guy up. That's 3 vics in 4 weeks. We let him stay out on the street and he'll make it 4 in no time."

"OK, so get me something I can put him away with! I can't bring a case with no evidence detectives!" _Dear Lord, they're irritating. His dad died young of a heart attack. He's pretty sure the 16__th__ precinct will single handedly cause him to go the same way. _

Liv finally steps up. She leans on one of his chairs and stares him down. "Get us the warrant, Barba, and I can guarantee we'll get all the evidence you could ever want."

"You know I can't get a warrant with what we have here. The judge will laugh me out of chambers!"

"The timeline alone should get us a warrant!"

"You going to law school with Carisi now?"

Olivia's tone changes- she goes in for the kill. "Oh, I forgot, it's election year. We're supposed to only bring the easy cases."

It might as well be just the two of them in the room now. This isn't their usual for-the-good-of-the-victim sparing match. They're both visibly angry. Liv continues to stare him down.

Barba's eyes narrow. He's as hurt as he is angry. Speech has all but failed him but when he does find it, it's nearly a growl. "Don't!"

Fin steps up to draw their attention from each other. If he doesn't they might tear each other apart right here on Barba's rather expensive carpet. "What'd'ya need Barba?" Barba's eyes stay locked with Olivia's. "What'd you need to get us that warrant?"

Barba glances out of the corner of his eye at Fin, his eyes still angry, chin still lowered in combat mode. "Anything putting him in the vicinity of those houses the nights the victims were attacked. I need something definitive."

Fin nods. "We'll get it"

The four detectives start to file out. Barba collects himself- worrying his bottom lip in frustration. He stands and places his hands on his hips. "Sargent. A word?" Olivia hangs back.

**In the Hallway- **the three detectives let out a sigh of relief for their escape.

Rollins looks to Amaro, "Lord, I'm glad I'm not on the other side of that door right now."

Amaro smiles, "Oh come on, you mean to tell me, you're not the least bit interested?"

Fin looks at Amaro as if he's grown two heads, "Hell no. I wanna be able to say I don't know anything when Liv's arrested for shooting Barba."

**In Barba's Office-** Olivia turns back and closes the door. Her defenses still up.

He crosses is arms over his chest protectively and looks to the ground for inspiration. "Look, about the other night- I'm sorry. I—"

She holds up a hand, exasperated. "Barba, I get it. Who wants to date a middle aged woman with a two year old?"

Barba lets out an aggravated chuckle. "That's what you think." It's more a statement than a question. He turns to his conference table and begins organizing some papers he finds there.

Olivia really looks at him for the first time. _Has she read this all wrong? _When she speaks again it's softer. She's trying to understand. "What am I supposed to think, Barba?" He keeps his back to her. Doesn't answer. She steps deeper into the room- she's back to being annoyed. "What is it that you want?!"

She sees Barba's hands tighten on the edge of the table, his head drops forward for a moment. "I don't know what I want! I did. I-" He turns to her and motions between the two of them. He almost looks scared. "I want to know what this is."

"What, you want a definition?"

"Yeah, maybe- yeah-"

Liv puts her hands in her pockets and steps forward. She tilts her head and speaks to him like a victim she's trying to get the whole truth from- placating but aggravated, "Then why walk out when we're starting to define it?"

Barba finally looks her in the eye. He bites is bottom lip.

_Telling her the truth will make all this real. It will set them on one path or another- either life without their friendship or life in a romantic relationship with his best friend- both of which are terrifying. On the other hand- it can't get any more awkward than it already is. And if he can't tell her the truth- who can he tell? He knows what he wants- has known for a while. It's time to go get it._

He talks slowly, carefully choosing his words, "This is too important to not work out. I don't want to- I _can't_ lose you and Noah. And I know that's a ridiculous thing to say about a child who's not mine. A child that I wanted nothing to do with six months ago but— I need this. And I'll take what I can get- if that's dinner once a week with the two of you or it it's," He pauses and looks down not sure how to phrase this, "something else- I'll take it. But I'm not going to rush into something that you may not want if it might mean losing the only two people who make me happy."

Barba manages to sound strong at the end of his speech but his heart is pounding out of his chest waiting for her response. Olivia is awestruck at his honesty but she collects her thoughts quickly enough to respond with a chuckle. "I doubt many people would consider what we've been doing, rushing into things."

Barba gives an embarrassed, tight-lipped smile and turns back to the papers that he isn't really organizing. Olivia grabs his arm and gently turns him back to her. "After the other night, what could possibly make you think that I don't want this?"

"If we do this, and it doesn't-"

"I know. You and I aren't exactly relationship experts. But my son loves you, Rafi. I love you." The revelation surprises them both but Olivia doesn't let it slow her down. "And honestly, I don't know how that happened." Their eyes meet again and they both finally smile for real. "But I know I want to try this. You're a huge part of our lives- I want you to continue to be. If anyone can handle the two of us it's you, Barba."

He smiles at her- more with his eyes than his mouth. _He can't believe they're going to do this. He's overwhelmed._ _For the second time in his life- words fail Raphael Barba. _ So he does the only thing that makes sense. He leans in and kisses her.

It's much more tender than the last time. He closes his eyes and pulls her close, taking his time. He runs his tongue along the seam of her lips requesting entrance- which she immediately grants him. She brings her hands to his face and draws him closer. The kiss is soft and thankful, passionate and apologetic. He tastes like coffee and peppermint and she's not sure she'll ever get enough.

There's a quick rap on Barba's office door before it abruptly swings open. Barba and Olivia quickly break off the kiss and step away from each other- doing their best to not look rumpled. Counselor Buchanan pushes past Barba's frustrated, apologetic secretary. "Am I interrupting something, Mr. Barba?"

Barba considers the man's amused smirk for a moment and then dives right in with his cockiest grin ever. "As a matter of fact, yes. What'd you need, Counselor?"

Olivia smirks proudly beside him as Buchanan tries to regain his composure. "I'll be representing Mr. Adams as you and your detectives continually harass him through the streets of Manhattan."

Olivia steps forward. "I should probably be getting back to that harassment right now. I'll leave you to it." She turns to Barba. "Swing by tonight?" Barba nods.

Olivia heads for the door leaving in her wake a rather shocked Counselor Buchanan with Barba grinning beside him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part VI**

**Barba leaves the office early**. By the time Olivia gets home, he's managed to convince Lucy that Noah is safe in his hands and start cooking dinner.

When Olivia walks in at 7:00, she's surprised to find Barba there with Bistec de Pollo sizzling in the skillet and her son on the kitchen counter smashing plantains into tostones- sort of. She smiles- puts down her keys and walks into the kitchen to join them. "Wow, that smells good! Remind me to talk to my babysitter about leaving Noah with strange men before I get home, though."

Barba raises his eyebrows at her. He hands her one of two glasses of wine that sit waiting on the counter. She takes a sip and savors it. It's been a long day and Barba standing in her kitchen taking care of everything is the perfect end.

"On the other hand, I guess you're not so strange." She grins and leans in for a kiss as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Noah looks up from the mess he's making to see them lip locked. Not wanting to be left out- he puts an arm around each of their heads and leans in to 'kiss' them both spreading the chocolate, that Olivia now notices is all over his face, all over theirs. Barba and Olivia disentangle themselves and laugh at him.

Olivia wipes the chocolate off herself with her hand and looks at her son. "Noah, did Raf give you chocolate before dinner?"

Noah's eyes light up and he smiles broadly. Raf leans into him and fake whispers, "Say, Objection, Mami, leading the witness."

Noah looks up at his mom, "Jection, Mama."

Barba laughs out loud and holds up a hand for a high-five, which Noah is happy to reciprocate. "Guess we should start saving for law school." He gives Olivia a giddy smile.

Olivia shakes her head as she retrieves a washcloth from the sink to wipe Noah off, "Unfortunately for you, Counselor, the forensic evidence is indisputable."

"Ah, we'll get it thrown out." Barba turns the chicken over and starts throwing the plantains into a pot to fry. He looks down at his watch. "Shit!" Olivia snaps a look to him. He casts a quick glance to Noah. "Uh, shoot. Forgot his Motrin- was supposed to give it to him 20 minutes ago."

Olivia grabs the Motrin out of the medicine cabinet. She and Noah struggle through another round of medicine administration while Barba cooks. Afterwards, she seems to have more on her than she got into Noah's mouth. Barba gives her an amused grin. Olivia is not amused "Forgot, huh?"

"Better you than me." Olivia throws a towel at him. "Hey! Have you ever tried to clean a silk tie?!" He gestures to the one currently tucked half way into his shirt. Olivia can't help but laugh.

She pulls her gun and badge off of her belt and starts toward her room. "I'm gonna change before dinner." She sticks her head back around the corner to peek in at him. "Hey-" Barba turns and quirks up an eyebrow. "Thank you." He smiles back at her just as she ducks back down the hall.

**At the end of dinner** Noah is falling asleep in his food. Olivia does her best to wipe him off. "Guess it's time for bed." Barba stands and helps her extract Noah from the highchair. Noah lays his head on Olivia's shoulder- his eyelids fluttering shut.

Barba rubs his hand over his back and plants a kiss on his forehead. "Night, night, amigo." He looks up at Olivia, unsure if he should stay or go, this is usually where their dinners end. _He doesn't want to be presumptuous but he doesn't want her thinking he doesn't want to stay. _

Luckily, before he gets too far down the rabbit hole- she save's him. "I'll put him to bed, you find a movie on Netflix." Barba just nods. She starts down the hall and he starts clearing dishes. The moment the first dish hits the bottom of the sink, he hears her call from down the hall, "Leave the dishes, Barba, I'll do them in the morning."

Barba smirks and mutters under his breath, "Barba." _He can't decide if he likes that or not._ He tops off both glasses of wine and heads for the couch.

**A few minutes later** Olivia sneaks out of Noah's room to find Barba shuttling through the Netflix queue. His feet, clad in purple and blue stripped socks, are up on the coffee table, one arm is draped across the back of the couch, the other hand holds his glass of wine. She takes a moment to take him in.

_If anyone had told her three years ago that she'd fall for this sharp tongued prosecutor who's wardrobe was more extensive than half of Manhattan's- she'd have laughed them out of the room. But seeing him lounging comfortably on her couch, she realizes how perfect it is. His wit, his humor, his intelligence, the way he loves Noah- Even when he's driving her crazy, she's ridiculously attracted to him. _

She walks around and picks up the glass of wine that he's poured for her as she takes a seat beside him. He glances over at her, "Success?"

She nods, "Let's hope he stays that way. His arm has been waking him up in the middle of the night." She looks over at him- his eyes are still fixed on the TV. _Is he nervous?_ "Thanks for dinner."

"Well, Noah's tostones were what really made it."

Olivia cracks up, "He was a bit overzealous with the smashing of the plaintains."

Barba grins, "Kept him entertained though." He finally looks at her.

She smiles back and then turns to the television. "So? Next episode of House of Cards or movie?"

He's still looking at her. Watching the glow of the television play on her face in the dim living room light. _He didn't think he'd ever been this nervous. Rafael Barba didn't get nervous. Why was this so different? _

After several moments with no response, Olivia turns back to him, "Barba?"

"I love you, too." It nearly comes out as all one word.

"Sorry?"

"I meant to say it, in my office, I just- froze. And then—"

Olivia shuts him up with her lips on his. He turns into her, deepening the kiss. His hand wanders up her side to her back- pressing her into him. She lets out a whimper as she feels him pressed hard her leg. Her hands snake into his hair- pulling him closer. All the passion of that first kiss is back with a fury- now fueled by what they both know is the next step.

Both are trying desperately to get closer to each other but the awkwardness of their positioning on the couch is getting the best of them. Barba briefly thinks he may have transformed back into his 14 year-old self.

Olivia finally breaks off the kiss when it becomes apparent that the couch isn't the place for this. She stands, her heart racing, and takes his hand, "Come with me."

He's stands still trying to catch his breath, "You sure?"

She lets out a breathless laugh, "You've spent too much time in sex crimes." She gives his hand a tug and he follows her down the hall to the bedroom.

***Only two chapters left. Hoping to update again tonight. For those who don't like M rated material- I'll restrict it to the next chapter if you want to skip it. **


	7. Chapter 7

**As soon as the door **to Olivia's bedroom shuts, Barba's lips are back on hers. His body presses her against the door as she fumbles with the knot on his tie. He helps her- pulling down on the knot and quickly pulling it over his head- before she pulls his lips back down to hers. Her hands tug at his hair before making their way down his chest to the buttons of his shirt.

Barba slides one of his knees between her legs to brace himself on the door. They break off the kiss to catch their breath when the new position forces his arousal against her hip. As Olivia fumbles with the buttons of Barba's shirt, _damn mother of pearl!, _Barba starts a trail of kisses down her jawline to her neck. He can feel her heartbeat racing under his lips. He nips the pulse point where her neck meets her shoulder- making it nearly impossible for Liv to concentrate on that last button. But she does. She pushes his shirt off his shoulders only for it to get stuck on his cufflinks.

He breaks off his expedition to bring his hands up between them. They both fumble with the cufflinks. "Fuck, you wear to many clothes!" He looks up at her and grins as both cufflinks come undone. She finally gets his shirt off his shoulders and he makes quick work of his undershirt before crashing his mouth back down onto hers.

Her hands go to his belt- his make their way under her sweater. His fingertips trace softly up her sides to her rib cage- setting her skin on fire.

His exploration is short lived, however. As soon as his fingertips move over the raised portion of skin just below her breast, he knows exactly what it is. He sucks in a breath, breaking off the kiss. She stills beneath his hands.

_He had seen the hospital's report- committed to memory where every scar would be- where every cigarette was put out, every hot key placed against her skin. But he had gotten swept up. It suddenly occurred to him that this may be the first time she'd done this since Lewis had abducted her the second time. Fuck. _

He leans his head against the door beside hers- determined to catch his breath. It suddenly occurs to him how still she's gotten. He closes his eyes, "I'm sorry. It caught me off guard." He turns, talking into her neck. "God I'm so sorry, Liv."

Olivia runs her hands gently up his bareback to his shoulders and pulls him away so she can look him in the eye. "We're not doing this again, Barba. What he did, it's on him."

Barba nods but she can see the moisture in his eyes. He closes them and leans his forehead against hers. "You knew, you and Rollins, from the start. If I had just-" She slips her hand into his and gives it a squeeze '_there's nothing you could've done'. _He gets the unspoken message. He lets out a heavy sigh and pulls back- looking at her. "We don't have to—we don't have to do this tonight- if you don't want to."

She uses their intertwined hands to pull him closer. "Please, don't let him ruin tonight. I want this. I want you. I have for a long time. I just couldn't admit it. I need this."

He stares at her reverently. _God, she's amazing. He'd never forgive himself for what happened to her but she had._

She takes his momentary silence as hesitation. "Unless you don't want—" Her confidence as suddenly fallen away. "It's ok, we don't—"

She tries to drop his hand but he squeezes hers- bringing her eyes back to him. He steps in closer- their faces now mere centimeters apart. "Trust me, I want." His eyes dart down to her lips before coming back to her eyes. "I'm sorry." He moves in and kisses her softly. It's slow and sensual, his tongue sliding across her bottom lip- begging permission to enter. She parts her lips and their tongues tangle once more.

He spins them around and backs them toward the bed never losing contact. When the back of her legs hit the bed, he breaks away to pull her sweater up over her head. Barba steps back to take in her bare upper half. As much pain as the scars across her torso bring him- he can't help but think how beautiful she is. He gives her a look of adoration as he moves back in to continue their make out session.

Her hands move back to his pants. She makes quick work of them- pushing them over his hips as he steps out of them rather clumsily in an attempt keep kissing her.

Barba slips a finger into the waistband of her yoga pants and drags them down her legs- leaving them both in only their underwear. He stands and pulls her into him kissing her soundly. The sensation of her bare breasts against his chest hair sets them both on fire.

He lowers her gently onto the bed. As he kisses her, his hand makes it's way up her side to her breast- cupping it gently before rolling the nipple between his fingertips. She gasps. He breaks off the kiss and proudly grins down at her, "Sensitive?"

She responds by moving one hand around to cup the bulge straining to break free of his boxers. He shutters, closes his eyes, lets out a breathless "Dios mio".

She returns his grin, "You were saying, Counselor?"

He gives the nipple another quick flick before lowering his lips to it. Her hands come up to seize his hair. He's now so hard it's verging on pain but he's determined to take his time.

As he continues his assault with his tongue- his hand makes it's way back down Olivia's body and into her underwear, finding she's more than ready for him too. He brushes his fingertips through her curls and quickly finds the small nub underneath. As he circles it, Olivia is overcome with sensation. Moaning loudly, she arches into him- her nails digging into his shoulders and neck. His finger moves away, replaced by his thumb as he slips a finger into her and hooks it to find the perfect spot.

Now it's her turn to shutter. "Jesus!" _If she had known he was this good at this, she'd have never waited this long. _

He smiles against her breast before flicking his tongue over her nipple. _He's quickly becoming obsessed with how sensitive they are. _

Suddenly, he feels her hands grabbing at his shoulders- urging him to move back up her body. "I need you inside me."

He continues the movement of his fingers inside her but releases her nipple from his torturous onslaught to speak, "but I'm not done yet."

_She can hardly breath much less think why is he making this a conversation?!_

"Yes, you are!"

He gives her a sly smile before moving back up her body. They both divest themselves of their remaining clothing and he settles between her legs. He props himself up on his elbow and gazes down at her as he guides himself inside of her. They try to hold eye contact but the sensation is too much- eyes fluttering shut.

His free hand guides her leg up to his back. She starts to move but his hand nearly leaves bruises when it tightens on her hip- stilling her. He lets out a shuttering breath. "Jus- just one second." He opens his eyes and meets hers, smiling sheepishly. "Been awhile. I don't want this to be over too quickly."

She smiles back. He leans in and gives her the most sensual kiss of her life. All his love- in one small act.

And then he starts to move. Slowly, deliberately at first, he continues his kisses along her jaw and down her neck. But eventually, he can't take his time any longer. He buries his head in her shoulder- thrusting into her hard and fast. And she's right there with him. They set a perfect rhythm driving one another closer and closer to their climax.

He feels her walls start to tighten around him and feels her bite down on his shoulder in an attempt to muffle her scream as she crashes over the edge. A few more quick thrusts and he's tumbling over right behind her.

He slows and she hugs him to her. He plants soft kisses along her shoulder, whispering to her softly in Spanish. Eventually, he raises himself up on his elbow to take her in.

Neither one of them needs to say anything- the look of adoration in both their eyes says it all.

He kisses her softly and then rolls onto his back, bringing her with him. She rests her head on his chest and runs her fingertips softly, up and down his ribcage in a post-climactic haze. He draws gentle circles on her back with his hand. Within minutes both fall into the deepest sleep they've had in at least three years.


	8. Chapter 8

**Part VIII**

**Around 3 am **Olivia wakes up to find herself alone in bed_. Her thoughts are muddled with sleep. Had the entire thing been a dream? Her half-awake mind realizes she's still completely naked. Right. So not a dream._

_But he's gone. Shit._

_They both knew it might be a mistake but she'd thought things went well. What made him leave? _

She sits up to go check on Noah and sees the aftermath of the night before. His clothes, and hers, are still strewn across the floor of her bedroom. _He's still here._

She stands and pulls on her underwear and his dress shirt before padding out to the hall. The moment she exits the room she hears soft singing from Noah's room. Olivia makes her way down the hall and peers in through the cracked door. Barba sits in a rocking chair in the corner in only his boxers and undershirt with Noah sprawled across his chest. He rocks back and forth while making small circles on Noah's back and singing a lullaby in Spanish.

_This was no mistake. This is exactly where they both belonged. She'd spent so long chasing happiness- and now- with Noah and Barba, she could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. She had loved, in some cases still loved, other men. But not like this. He was like no other man she'd ever found herself drawn to. It wasn't just his wit and passion, his sharp tongue and his dapper suits. It was the honesty. They could tell each other anything- could read each other like a book. It was the respect. They weren't afraid of standing up to each other but took every word the other said into consideration. They didn't have to agree with each other to be happy with each other- because they both recognized the disagreement as a sign of the thing they loved most about each other- passion for everything they did. _

Not wanting to interrupt their quiet moment quite yet, Olivia makes her way to the bathroom. When she returns, she finds that Barba has joined her son in sleep. He snores softly, his hands resting protectively on Noah's back.

She walks over and places a hand on his before leaning down to kiss his temple. The corners of his mouth twitch up in a small smile before his eyes flutter open. "Think his arm woke him up" ,he says sleepily.

She gives them both a loving smile, "Come back to bed."

Barba looks down at the sleeping toddler. "It's ok, he's comfortable"

Liv sees through Barba's justification. 'There's nothing better than a sleeping baby snuggled against your chest.' "He can come too. He ends up in bed with me this time every night anyway."

Barba gives him one of his half grins. _She knows him too well. Though, if she tells the squad he nearly chose a snuggly two year old over going back to bed with her, he may have to kill her. How could he be this attached to a person that couldn't yet string together a complete sentence? At first he'd taken it as a byproduct of his attachment to Olivia. The source of her happiness making him happy. But if that was where it had started- it had certainly evolved. They had become his happiness. He'd been happy before. His job- being the hotshot ADA, always being the smartest guy in the room- had been enough. But it didn't rival what he'd found here with them. It was incredible. And terrifying. He had complete control over his life if his job was all he needed. But now he needed other people- two other people- who could make their own decisions. Who might eventually break his heart. After last night though, after the past couple weeks, he figured it was worth the risk._

He picks up Noah and follows Olivia quietly back to bed. Barba lays Noah in the center of the bed and he and Olivia crawl in on either side of him. Propped on their elbows, facing each other they both stare down at him for a moment and then look to each other. They lean in for quick kiss before lieing back down and snuggling into each other.

**Three hours later**, Barba wakes because of a heavy weight on his chest. He opens his eyes slowly to find a tiny face staring back at him. He starts and then grins, his sleepy brain finally working out where he is, "Noah, que paso?"

Noah places his tiny hands on either side of Barba's face and gets very close. He's excited to find his friend still here. "Raf!"

Barba grins and immediately begins tickling the toddler- rolling him onto the bed beside him. The boy lets out a squeal and Barba, noticing Liv still sleeping beside them, brings a finger to his lips. "Shh, Mami's still sleeping" Noah wide-eyed brings a finger to his own lips, mimicking Barba.

Barba grins and look over to the alarm clock, "Shit!"

"Shit" ,Noah repeats.

Barba looks at the boy, defeated, "Shit." _Of course, he'd repeat that. Maybe that'd be the only time._ He returns to the original problem. They're running late. He plants a small kiss on Olivia's forehead and then gives her a gentle shake. "Liv, Liv we've gotta get up." Olivia's eyes start to flutter open. "We have a deposition in an hour."

Her eyes snap open just as Noah decides to share his new vocabulary word by screaming it into her face, "Shiiiit!"

Olivia cuts her eyes to Barba who looks like he's about to come out of his skin. He speaks slowly- as if speaking to a bear he's trying to convince not to eat him. "Now don't get mad, I heard on NPR, if we don't acknowledge it, he'll stop saying it."

Olivia glares at him and sighs. "I'll make some coffee, you hop in the shower first so you have time to go get dressed."

Both Olivia and Barba spring into action. As he rushes around the apartment getting ready and trying to help with Noah before running out the door to his own apartment, Barba suddenly realizes that this may be his new normal. And he loves it.

***Alright everyone, that's the final chapter for this story. I will most likely be returning to this universe to expand upon this story in the near future- so look out for that, if you're interested. Just need to figure out what part of the story I want to tell next. Hope you all liked this one! Thanks for all the feedback!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey all- I wanted to say thanks for all the awesome feedback on this story. **

**I do plan to do at least one sequel in this universe. But some of the photos from video village have me intrigued about the next few episodes and how things will play out between Barba and Olivia. **

**So I thought I'd do a prequel first. It's titled "Anytime, Barba" if you want to look it up.**

**It'll be a series of vignettes that correspond with the episodes after December Solstice. They'll start to explore how Barba gets so close to Noah and how he and Liv's relationship develops.**

**Check it out if you have time! Thanks!**


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